Certified Narc-Spotter

Even though I’m done with online dating, there is one small online dating site from which I haven’t bothered deleting my profile. Every once in a while I go back on to read messages that have been sent to me in order to practise my narc-spotting skills. After all, we know online dating sites are their favourite feeding ground so where better to hone our skills?

Today I went on after a long time and read the following message:

“So, how do I get you to say hi? Humor? Wit? Romance? gimme a hint, and I’ll do the rest”

Sure, DurhamChad. I’d be more than happy to train you upfront on how to best lovebomb me and pretend to be the man of my dreams.

But hey, maybe I’m being too hard on the guy. Let’s take a look at his profile to see if maybe he does a little better there:

“Never really know what to say here … Im a single dad with 3 amazing kids, I have joint custody 50/50.
Ask me whatever you wish I’m an open book… I’ll fill out more if I think of something funny n witty to throw in here :)”

Mr. Single Never Married has 3 amazing kids. Um, ok.

But isn’t it great that he’s an open book? It’s just too bad there are no words in his book because apparently in his quest for his future partner he can’t think of anything to say (conveniently leaving all his options open to move in whatever direction his unsuspecting prey should choose).

That’s a pretty familiar profile, wouldn’t you say? I remember my narc writing something similar in his last profile – not knowing what to say, wanting to say something funny, and coming back later to write more. Yeah right.

In the past, I gave guys the benefit of the doubt and a chance to explain their way out of little red flags that caught my eye. Not anymore.

To me, this dude is a perfect example of a narc fishing online. Buddy, you’re busted!

certified narc spotter


9 responses to “Certified Narc-Spotter

  1. Oh, that’s great! You are onto something here…maybe even a book,”How to spot a narc”…I would read it😄

  2. He he he…I too have learned a thing or two from these dating sites…very glad to be done with that scene.

  3. My (ex) husband wrote very similar info on his profile too…

  4. “Sure, DurhamChad. I’d be more than happy to train you upfront on how to best lovebomb me and pretend to be the man of my dreams.” That is hilarious! Dating sites are the playground of the disordered.

    We need to teach our youth about antisocials, before they go out in the world to find partners. Please share: A booklet for young girls (and boys, too), to identify potential pathological abusers http://snip.ly/Ghs

    • I couldn’t agree more. If we had been taught that people like this exist in the real world, we could have been on the lookout for them. I would love nothing more to reduce the victim pool in the next generation! Thanks for including that link – those are great boundaries and red flags to watch for.

  5. I had just broken up with a narc and did not realize he was one until after I discovered (or he taunted me to discover it) his infidelity with his ex-wife and 3 other women, finding it all out in one night. The most eerie part is that he said he went on a single parents online dating, and wrote almost exactly the profile you just described!! he has 3 boys and has joint custody with ex-wife, whom he called “Babe” in his text. He would normally tell me, “Just be honest with me, I’m an open book.” !!! How uncanny is that? Either we are talking about the same person, or all narcs came out of the same cookie-cutter.

    • When I first realized my ex was a narc and started reading other people’s posts, I couldn’t believe how much they all sounded my like ex. It’s amazing how these guys think they’re soooo amazing and better than everyone else, yet they are basically replicas of each other. Nothing unique about them at all!

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