Fish Hooks

Narc has always had impeccable timing. Somehow, he is always able to sense when my life is going well and when I’m releasing him, and that’s when he inevitably comes out of the woodwork again to try to hook me.

This past weekend I went away to my cottage. As I settled in on Friday night, I was feeling free-spirited, peaceful, beautiful, happy. I made mango martinis, cranked the tunes, and had a one-woman dance party in my living room.

In the morning, I woke to find a text from him: “Sorry. I don’t know how that happened.”

First of all, I couldn’t figure out how a text had gotten through my text blocker. Later I realized when I’d had my phone replaced a few weeks ago, I set up the blocker wrong. However, that actually turned out to be a blessing because this one text that slipped through alerted to me to the presence of one of his most favourite fish hooks: the ‘accidental’ pocket dial.

The first pocket dial I ever got from narc was about 8 months into knowing him. He ‘accidentally’ pocket dialed my work number, and left me a long message of him and his ‘friend’ (but actually girlfriend) planning a trip to Cuba. I was devastated.

Over the next few years, I received many pocket dials. They almost exclusively happened during periods when I’d cut off contact. They usually happened on Friday or Saturday nights so that I could ‘accidentally’ hear what a great time he was having without me. 

This time, it happened on a Friday night to my home number, which he almost NEVER called even when we were dating. (I can’t believe I was ever gullible enough to believe these calls were accidental. Narcs really are so good at spinning stories that leave us disoriented and confused. I can see everything so clearly now.)

I immediately dialed into my home voicemail and, for the first time ever, I didn’t listen to the message. He would NOT get his hooks me in this time. I would not ALLOW him to ruin my beautiful weekend. Once my voicemail was cleared, I went back into my text blocker, fixed the settings, deleted him once again, and breathed a sigh of relief.

This week it will be 7 months since the breakup and I AM HAPPY. I still think about him/us/our trainwreck of a relationship, and I still cry sometimes, but that’s part of the healing. I love myself now, I love who I’m becoming, and I love my life. He can ‘accidentally’ call my voicemail as much as he wants, I’m done with him. His hooks are dull and his bait is rotten. No contact for the win!

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6 responses to “Fish Hooks

  1. what a fabulous post to read! Yep, they are so good with the ‘accidental calls’…lol. and what a great feeling when you have the control to block the jerk and knowing you never have to hear that voice again 🙂

    • Thanks! Did yours do the ‘accidental’ calls too? I’ve never seen anyone else reference that before, I thought it was just a childish thing mine did. But given that everything else about him is textbook, it would make so much sense if that’s a typical narc strategy too. They’re all so ridiculous *eyeroll* lol

  2. ohhhh I received so many ‘accidental butt-calls’ as he referred to them…along with ‘accidental text’ {supposedly sent to me by mistake}…figure that one out!! LOL. In their land of delusion they live in filled with lies {that are THEIR truths} they both probably made themselves belief that did in fact ‘accidentally’ call and/or text. Just another sick way to see if we will take their ‘baited hook with rotten bait’ as you said. Sorry, I no longer swim in that ocean 🙂 🙂

    • Wow you just blew my mind!! Holy geez, I feel like i was living in a dark cave for 4 years, and one by one so many lights have been coming on revealing all the darkest corners of the cave. So much more in there than I ever could’ve imagined… Absolute craziness!

  3. I got that too. I am 8 months no contact myself. My narc had blocked me on Facebook after I sent a message to his new supply in a moment of crazy telling her he was dating me and had been for the last year and a half. That was my final wake up call. To say the least, I was searching for someone in my Facebook contacts about a month ago and he came up when I typed in the first couple letters of the person I was actually looking for. I was shocked because I had read so many stories about this same thing, and realized I had just experienced the classic narc move. So I went in and immediately blocked him back!!! 🙂 just another game.

    • Thank goodness for blocking functions! Interesting that he unblocked you. I guess he was using it to keep tabs on you?
      I made a ‘crazy call’ myself a couple of years ago, except I was the other woman and she was the girlfriend. After that, he realized what I was capable of.. I’m pretty sure mine will never be unblocking me from facebook. lol But good to know that’s something to watch out for.

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