For the last few days, I have been deeply sad, bordering on depressed. For many reasons, I have been missing my ex – just the good parts of him, of course – and really missing having a ‘partner in crime’ to share thoughts and experiences with.
I’m frustrated that I’m 4 months post-breakup and still not ok yet. (Yes, I am an impatient person. :)) I’m ashamed that I know he isn’t deserving my love or my thoughts, yet here I am still thinking about him while he’s probably all caught up in the blissful lovebombing stage with the next victim. I have moped and cried and self-pitied for days.
Then this morning, I came online and saw this post by The Running Therapist:
It’s true. We all go through difficult periods in our lives, but we rarely share the worst of it – the deepest pains, the most soul-shattering insecurities – even though we all go through them in our own different ways. The closest we get is here, in this online community of ours. (And boy, am I ever eternally grateful that we have this!)
So I’ve decided I’m going to stop thinking of this deeply sad phase as a setback, and start thinking of it as a growth spurt. Growth spurts are painful but temporary — and necessary to get to the next, better version of ourselves.
Impatient me can hardly wait to become a butterfly, but at least this reminds me that I’m still moving forward even when it feels like I’ve stumbled back.
I am a butterfly, in progress.